Counting sheep


I’ve recently noticed that as I settle into my bed and get ready to drift off to sleep, I no longer count sheep.
Instead, I have caught myself counting ideas and questions- listing the things that I hope to understand better.
Some quite trivial, some quite deep; I revisit these concepts over and over in search for answers or some insight into why I think about them or what they mean.

Hoping to get some quality rest at night, I will attempt to resolve these ideas in my posts these coming weeks.
Here is an introduction to the things that keep me up at night and eventually send me to sleep:

1. What is that Lub-dub sound?: As I try to fall asleep at night, I can hear my heart pumping and it makes me wonder about the little quirks that maintain me alive. This involuntary beat is one of the many things that my body does to keep me alive and maintain my mind working. But isn’t my mind a part of my body too? That leads me to my next question-

2. Where is my mind?: I don’t mean that I’m very distracted (although I am) I literally mean: where is my mind located? Where do these thoughts take place? Is consciousness physical or is it just a metaphorical way of grouping our cognitive abilities?

3. Why is this place so messy?: Now, I’ve always been absolutely disorganised and messy. So when recently in a chemistry lesson I learnt that disorder is the natural state of the universe, I was delighted. Of course it turned out to be that it wasn’t a good way to excuse the messy area I live and work in, but entropy did turn out to be an interesting concept which still makes me wonder late at night…

4. If I stay up another 15 minutes, how will my life change?: Well for one I may be more tired in the morning, but that doesn’t seem like a huge impact on my life. However, learning about chaos theory has changed my perception of small things and the possibility of them having huge impacts.

5. What’s the difference between 15 minutes and 30 for that matter?: Yes, I know there is a difference between them and I can tell that one lasts longer than the other, but the concept of time is a strange one. How did it originate? what does it mean?

The list could continue for miles, but these are the questions that I have had in my mind long enough to mature and that I feel most ready to seek answers to. This way, I’ll have more space for different questions to arise and keep me awake at night…

Or maybe I’ll finally be able to get some sleep.





Multitudes- Antonio Saura

For many of us, our greatest fear is loneliness.

But what exactly is loneliness?

Loneliness is not about being by yourself. It is a feeling of emptiness. It is a deep, dark and cold place you take yourself, where you feel abandoned and unloved; where your demons run free while you are bound. It is a sensation of never seeing light again because you don’t deserve it.

I often hear people complaining about being lonely when really they are just alone. We are currently living in a society that is afraid of silent thought and feel bored just by being by themselves. Spending an afternoon unaccompanied should not be a reason to suffer and complain. How about looking at it as an opportunity to open your senses and explore your creative side?

Alone is not the same as loneliness.

Alone is an occasion to discover and enjoy.

Alone is healthy.


This article might kill you


We live in a scary world.
I go out into the street and I don’t know if I will make it back home alive.
Dangers await around every corner, ready to take my young life away from me.
To think of all the things that could kill me keeps me awake at night with nightmares, terrifying things such as water, cherries and even my flip flops. And I worry, because if I don’t get to sleep soon, I might die from not sleeping.

It seems that every day we add more items to the never ending list of things that could kill us.
And yet, average life expectancy through out the world is only increasing.
Had I been born two centuries ago, I would have a life expectancy of 30 years, half of the world average life expectancy according to Our World in Data.

Could it be that making this extensive list of risks help us avoid them?
Perhaps that is why we are living longer these days, we know of the evils that loom in things that we considered harmless.
Well, not really.

Although a lot of things that we didn’t suspect to be bad for us ended up being quite deadly (like asbestos or cigarettes), all those articles that advertise the danger in daily life things will not help you become healthier or prolong your life.

These news that this or that might kill you aren’t completely wrong. It is true that a lot of things can kill you.
It is amazing how we underestimate the real dangers and how much we are scared by those more irrational ones.
A good example is the difference between how many people die in car accidents (1.3 million) and how many people are killed by sharks (approx 5) each year.

So maybe it’s true that drinking water can kill you, or that maybe if you wear flip flops then somehow that will lead to your death.
But is it likely enough to kill you? Is it worth getting worried about?

I don’t know about you, but maybe I don’t want to live worrying about what threats are just around the corner, because I might just end up walking into a more obvious danger because I was too distracted thinking about how gluten might just kill me.